FROM THE OFFICE OF THE VICE PRESIDENT:

As a privately held company, Modern Evil is not required to publicly report on any of its operations or activities. This blog of the Products & Services Division is a faint reflection of our interests and opinions. Thank you.

~ Harold P. Chessman, V.P. Products & Services

12.11.08

My Warhol

CATEGORY: Narcissism, Face, Self-Statues

DIVISION: Modern Evil Products

COMMENT: The repetitive image was the artistic staple that made Warhol,... well, Warhol. The Marilyns, the Elvises - if it was an icon, it got repeated. Now the narcissistic among us can combine Warhol and self-adoration in one wonderful service - ThatsMyFace.com. With a couple of pictures of your head, you can see yourself at 20, 40, 60, or 260! Best of all is their FaceStatue - a photo-realistic 3D statue of your head. And six months from now, every self-obsessed celebrity/artist will fill galleries with signed cranial effigies of every color imaginable at $10K a pop. Damn you and your bejewelled $$$ skull Damien Hirst!











ThatsMyFace offers free online facial analysis as well as FaceStatues, which are glass or plastic statuettes custom-made from your facial profile.

How it Works : Take a frontal and profile photo of your face, upload it to our servers and within a few hours we'll generate your facial profile which includes:
  • Your face at 20, 40 and 60 years old
  • Your face as an African, Indian, Asian or Caucasian
  • Your face as man or woman
  • Your caricature
  • Identify your facial asymmetries
  • Attractiveness rating
  • Compare yourself to others and find you look-alikes
  • Buy your custom-made FaceStatue!

What's a FaceStatue?

Once you've created your own facial profile, we can recreate your face or its caricature as a true-to-life 3D replica. Using patent-pending 3D modeling techniques previously reserved to film studios and professional 3D designers, as well as cutting-edge manufacturing technologies pioneered by the car prototyping industry, ThatsMyFace can bring you life-like FaceStatues of your face to your doorstep.

11.11.08

Death Diamonds and Necro-Knick-Knacks

CATEGORY: Jewelry, Death, Remembrance

DIVISION: Modern Evil Products

EDITORIAL: What can't you create out of a dead body?! Really, that's the shorter list. So in the spirit of embalming, The Modern Evil Company announces an entire line of lucite-based products: Necro-Knick-Knacks. From paperweights to picture frames, Necro-Knick-Knacks are those indispensable gadgets that are handy for the home or office and do double-duty as death keepsakes. With a lifetime guarantee, you'll never forget where your loved ones are.
















What is a LifeGem?

The LifeGem is a certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life, or as a symbol of your personal and precious bond with another.

LifeGem diamonds are molecularly identical to natural diamonds found at any high-end jeweler. To qualify as diamonds, they must have the exact same brilliance, fire, and hardness (the hardest substance known) as diamonds from the earth, and of course, they do!

LifeGem diamonds are created individually from your specific carbon source in our patented process.

Whether you've lost a loved one or simply want to celebrate your love, the LifeGem diamond provides a way to embrace your loved one’s memory day by day. The LifeGem is the most unique and timeless tribute available for creating a testimony to their unique life.

Your LifeGem memorial will offer comfort and support when and where you need it, and provide a lasting memory that endures just as a diamond does.

5.11.08

The Inexactitudes of Stoning

CATEGORY: Sharia Law, Far-Flung-Faith Tours

DIVISION:
Modern Evil Products

FOLLOW-UP: What didn't sit right with us the first go-around was the fact that the woman stoned to death "asked to be charged and punished for the crime she committed". Under Sharia or any other law, criminals don't normally turn themselves in. Note then - the story is now corrected, so book your Far-Flung-Faith Tour to marvelous Mogadishu soon!








Stoning Victim 'Begged for Mercy'

A young woman recently stoned to death in Somalia first pleaded for her life, a witness has told the BBC.

"Don't kill me, don't kill me," she said, according to the man who wanted to remain anonymous. A few minutes later, more than 50 men threw stones.

Human rights group Amnesty International says the victim was a 13-year-old girl who had been raped.

Initial reports had said she was a 23-year-old woman who had confessed to adultery before a Sharia court.

Numerous eye-witnesses say she was forced into a hole, buried up to her neck then pelted with stones until she died in front of more than 1,000 people last week.

Meanwhile, Islamists in the capital, Mogadishu have carried out a public flogging.

Mogadishu is nominally under the control of government forces and their Ethiopian allies, who face frequent attacks by Islamist and nationalist insurgents.

The BBC's Mohammed Olad Hassan in the city says the flogging was a show of strength.

He says two men accused of helping to kill a man and torture his mother, who they accused of theft, were each given 39 lashes in the north-eastern suburb of Suqa-hola.

The man who actually killed the alleged thief was released, after agreeing to pay his family 100 camels in compensation.

Before the flogging, hundreds of Islamist fighters performed a military parade, our reporter says.


Death Threats

Cameras were banned from the stoning in Kismayo, but print and radio journalists who were allowed to attend estimated that the woman, Aisha Ibrahim Duhulow, was 23 years old.

However, Amnesty said it had learned she was 13, and that her father had said she was raped by three men.

When the family tried to report the rape, the girl was accused of adultery and detained, Amnesty said.

Convicting a girl of 13 for adultery would be illegal under Islamic law.

A human rights activist in the town told the BBC on condition of anonymity that he had received death threats from the Islamic militia, who accuse him of spreading false information about the incident.

He denies having anything to with Amnesty's report.


Crying

Court authorities have said the woman came to them admitting her guilt.

She was asked several times to review her confession but she stressed that she wanted Sharia law and the deserved punishment to apply, they said.

But a witness who spoke to the BBC's Today programme said she had been crying and had to be forced into a hole before the stoning, reported to have taken place in a football stadium.

"More than 1,000 people arrived there," he said.

"After two hours, the Islamic administration in Kismayo brought the lady to the place and when she came out she said: 'What do you want from me?'"

"They said: 'We will do what Allah has instructed us'. She said: 'I'm not going, I'm not going. Don't kill me, don't kill me.'

"A few minutes later more than 50 men tried to stone her."


Checked by Nurses

The witness said people crowding round to see the execution said it was "awful".

"People were saying this was not good for Sharia law, this was not good for human rights, this was not good for anything."

But no-one tried to stop the Islamist officials, who were armed, the witness said. He said one boy was shot in the confusion.

According to Amnesty International, nurses were sent to check during the stoning whether the victim was still alive. They removed her from the ground and declared that she was, before she was replaced so the stoning could continue.

The port of Kismayo was seized in August by a coalition of forces loyal to rebel leader Hassan Turki, and al-Shabab, the country's main radical Islamist insurgent organisation.

Mr. Turki is on the US list of "financers of terrorism".

It was the first reported execution by stoning in the southern port city since Islamist insurgents captured it.

The BBC had a reporter in the area, but he was shot dead in Kismayo in June.

31.10.08

Far-Flung-Faith Tours

CATEGORY: Extreme Religion, Fundamentalism, Fanatacism

DIVISION: Modern Evil Products

NOTE: Ever wanted to experience the rush of extreme religious fanatacism but didn't know where to begin? Now you can take a taste of the zealous life with the Modern Evil Far-Flung-Faith Tours. How about a Wild Wahabi Weekend, a Rollicking Rapture Retreat, or the stoning-thrill of a Strict Sharia Sabbatical?! The ululating excitement of toe-dipping into a foreign worship without soiling your own beliefs is for everyone. Book Now!








Woman Buried to Neck and Stoned to Death for Adultery

From Correspondents in Mogadishu, Somalia

THOUSANDS of people gathered to witness 50 Somali men stone a woman to death after an Islamic court found her guilty of adultery, witnesses say.

Aisho Ibrahim Dhuhulow, who had been found guilty of extra-marital intercourse by a court in the southern port of Kismayo, was buried in the ground up to her neck while the men pelted her head with rocks today, the witnesses said.

"Our sister Aisho asked the Islamic Sharia court in Kismayo to be charged and punished for the crime she committed," local Islamist leader Sheikh Hayakallah told the crowd.

"She admitted in front of the court to engaging in adulterous sexual intercourse," he said.

"She was asked several times to review her confession but she stressed that she wanted Sharia law and the deserved punishment to apply."

The execution was carried out in one of the city's main squares.

The port of Kismayo was seized in August by a coalition of forces loyal to rebel leader Hassan Turki, and the Shebab, the country's main radical Islamist insurgent organisation.

The new administration began implementing a strict form of Sharia (Islamic law).

"This afternoon we are telling the people of Kismayo that we are practising a punishment that is rare in this region and was carried out in Kismayo for the first time," Sheikh Hayakallah said.

Cameras were banned from the public stoning but print and radio journalists were allowed to attend.

29.10.08

Legal Voodoo and Other Mumbo-Jumbo

CATEGORY: Sarkozy, Voodoo Doll

DIVISION: Modern Evil Products

COMMENT: Not that it was ever a problem before, but now even the courts have given voodoo dolls their blessing [and ruling] as being a legitimate expression of satire and religion. So its full steam ahead for the Modern Evil line of custom effigies. Remember to attach at least 2 photographic images of the person, animal or thing you want printed on your "voodoo doll" when you order. And shop early for the holidays.









Sarkozy Loses Fight to Ban Voodoo Doll

by Angelique Chrisafis

A Nicolas Sarkozy voodoo doll which became a bestselling cult classic when the president tried to have it banned, is to remain on sale, after a French court yesterday threw out the ban attempt.

A judge ruled that Nicolas Sarkozy: The Voodoo Manual, which features a doll, a set of pins and a book explaining how to put the evil eye on the president, fell within the boundaries of "free expression" and the "right to humour".

The president's lawyer had argued that, like any French person, Sarkozy owned the right to his image, which was violated by the sale of the doll.

The highly litigious president was ridiculed by his critics for launching the legal action - his sixth lawsuit since his election - and the doll instantly became a sellout.

The Socialist Ségolène Royal, who was the subject of a similar voodoo doll but did not sue, hailed the verdict as a victory for the freedom to "caricature the world's most powerful". Royal, who once filed a legal complaint against someone who hit her with a custard pie, said she did not sue over her doll because she had a sense of humour.

The lawyer for the doll's makers said he was pleased the judge had recognised the existence of a "right to humour".

It is not known whether Sarkozy will appeal.